[Frank]

Timeless

Murky clarity coming from a bloody toilet bowl of dead goldfishs watery grave. The story was flip flopping like a fish out of water. You breathed life into your idea as it gasped for its life in a plastic bag void of air. I thought the enthusiasm was there, you had the pep in your step and the wind at your gills but just couldn't make this verse fly with the rest of the flying fish. Good creativity though, keep thinking outside the box, er, bowl.

Certain

That was it? I guess, felt incomplete, to say the least. Sounded like a crazy home at a hospital. Verse read as if it lost some of its marbles. The characters were uninspired and did not interact. Plus, it all ended on an anticlimactic, depressing note. Overall, this is probably the worst piece I've ever read from you.

voting timeless