[PancakeBrah]

timeless - This is the best verse I've read from you. You have a thing for animals. Turtles and fish. Anyways, I liked the creative angle you took on a familiar trope, that being the human penchant for destroying nature. The dialogue and writing was very smooth. Less convoluted and messy than that one verse you wrote. Very clear, I knew what you were doing/saying and the message was clear and profound. The idea of being subjected to the results caused by something else's mistakes, while you're innocently swimming. The idea of being a fish caught in a fish bowl being the same as a fish in the wild subject to the world of humans. I don't necessarily agree with the bleeding heart slant of the piece but that's neither here nor there. My own prejudices have nothing to do with how well this piece was constructed, and it was constructed well. Nice.

Certain - I'm more of a fan of this style, which you've been using in the open mic for a little bit, than your more fleshed out pieces. Doing more with less, concise but fulfilling with a slightly poetic tilt. This didn't have the poetic side of it as much, but the rest. Not a wasted word, and it goes against the norm of showing out for these matches. A sort of risk, really. This and the 'Champagne in a Paper Cup' both had the same effect for me. They lay out a scene, spruced up with detail and nuance (real nuance), and just kind of leave the reader with a feeling, earned through the events and facts. There's no crazy twist or anything. Just a well-painted slice of life that leaves the reader to understand it's context. My only critique is that there were one or two rhyming gaffes that were probably intentional that still took me out of the piece, just slightly.

Probably the battle of the week in my estimation, with two very different approaches and concepts. Basically a coinflip, I lean closer to favoring the route and style of writing Certain went with. Neither should be ashamed if they lose. Much appreciated.

v/ Certain