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Old 04-26-2014, 10:36 AM   #4
Vulgar
Razor-thin derision
 
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,422
Battle Record: 40-25

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timeless - Starting off with a cliché like 'I walk a fine line' was a big no-no for me. Onto the verse, if you called this 'Fukushima' I would've thought Pent Up wrote it. Nah, this was cool though, I was fond of it. The beginning was metaphorical in tone at first, so I was very into it, then it transitioned into literal territory with former fish bowl residents speaking on the biological significance of oceanic folk in comparison to destructive humanity. A creative interpretation of the topic, to say the least. The last lines of the verse were okay to me - less all encompassing as I would've liked it to be.

Certain - There's not a lot to dislike about this, except for the fact that it borders on being dull to read. This was a thinner verse than I'm used to reading from you, I'm usually accustomed to a thicker broth, especially when it's a story or illustration of toil or hardship. The verse you beat me with in the league would be what I'd expect from you in terms of the appearance/structure. Overall, this was decent.

My vote goes to timeless.
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