First of all, explaining your lines will win you no fans around these here parts, it comes across as amatuerish...it should be worded in such a way that we just get it, without the explanation. This was a cool enough little flex, nothing really outstanding, some cliche lines and forced rhymes but you have the right idea. I'm guessing you don't know your opponent? just saying because there don't seem to be many personal shots, just generic insults, which will only get you so far. You have potential certainly as far as rhyming and flow go, but you need to work on more complex ideas and don't resort so quickly to cliche. Keep working at it though, and you could be pretty dope.
Get at my piece below this if you can please dude.
__________________
He listens to voices inside of his mind
Explicit and poisonous violent crime.
 |