[Adonis]

Cakers - the progression was there, top notch in fact. The flow was mostly on, but had its weaker moments but only because of how I read compared to you, I know this because of the placed comas. I enjoy the detail put in to your every verse. The sentences are strung together nicely and seem aesthetic, but if you read and pay attention and get what your saying the imagery just pops. I enjoyed the reverse drowning section. The inching towards land while simultaneously committing suicide and freeing yourself. Powerful words. Overall a solid read. I've read each verse a few times now and I'm confident in my vote going in.

Michael - the flow....there is plenty of good regarding that portion of my vote that I won't mention. You faltered a few times, not often and never major, but none the less.... I liked the concept, a bit different then your usual take on storyline /linear verses you primarily work with. I saw the tree and the vast greenery from which she was taken from. Saw the assembly line and curing room for creating paper. See the bridge and the fall. Solid imagery. The final bar was not needed. The first ending was a bit more open, or...I guess slightly more vague. I would prefer to draw my own thoughts from the story rather than you explaining what you wrote because I felt like, and then knew, I did fully grasp topic of "stupid humans, always exhausting and destroying resources, natural resources that had earth thriving before they came"



Overall voting for Mike.

This was closer than the first three times I read, but in the end I really did like the concept and loved the execution of concept. Both dope verses, but I do have mike in a fairly close bout