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Old 04-19-2014, 09:55 PM   #4
zygote
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Really became immersed in Vividlyvague's upload this week. All the unique vocabulary was just excellent and a hallmark of sci-fi writing. The names were desert-like enough to match the picture, and the whole casino approach was very interesting. In some parts there was strange vocabulary. E.g., "Betts's melanin atoned" but all of that fits with the futuristic vibe. It's true there is no clearly defined setting, it could even be an alternate-universe thing, but it just feels futuristic, a bit dystopian too. A Native American blade runner - words like Kallektors to describe the debt collectors were just great touches. Adonis emphasized the rhyme schemes in this upload, it was excellent in its conciseness and simplicity of expression. E.g., "Land lovers ironically made of water.
Since the day of The Apple and The Father." Double lines like that were just excellent. Overall, this is my favorite so far from all the ongoing contests, both can be extremely happy with their efforts. Voting for VV.
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