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Old 04-18-2014, 07:47 PM   #5
timeless
past tense
 
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Join Date: Nov 2013
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Zyg, it’s obvious your effort was lackluster this week, however doesn’t mean it wasn’t enjoyable. Nice easy, smooth read. Flow was simple as well, but enough to get by. Kind of had a Hansel & Grettle type of concept running with some dark humor to end it off. Not bad, you could’ve made this a lot doper though.

Slim, started off strong, thought this was going to be a good story/concept but you kind of just dragged it out. Your wording and flow were great until about halfway then it just collapsed. Same with your story, I don’t get what happened at all. Atleast the ending was rushed anyways.

Giving this to ZYG for the more enjoyable read. Had more of a complete concept to run with.
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