Here im jobless, abrasive and dark
years of college, was taken apart
cleared my knowledge, got wasted at parties,
feared this promise, delayed getting started
the things i wanted, had raised question marks
being accomplished, the fame with the stardom
seemingly, opting for grades was the problem
would start panicking lots, now with every line or page
my life had changed and I became so lethargic
night and day, racing by enraged
neared a monster, impatient at heart
neither did prosper, or maintain a job
nothing to reminisce about, achieved in nothing
underused, 26, a clown, in need of loving
now im concerned it's a waste
a worthless creation, stuck in a rut
formed in a book, over a third of the way
if love is a must, gotta start turning the page
but im not certified sane, deterred to be radiant
"now ill only ever be a delinquent psycho",
victim of bi polar disorder, loud and rowdy,
you'll write nothing profound about me
"leave behind a mother Amelia,
big brother named Ash
and a loving family and
dysfunctional Dad"
but ill destroy my self before i to anybody else
it is something i must not fear
im ending it, im my own boss, the book stops her...
my finale is nigh, im hanging so high,
disorientated, with a weird noise I am faced with
can barely glance to the side, as I do im happy to find..
'Dad Calling'