Close contest, the slant rhyming from Zombie really stood out, fluid language meshed well with the underwater picture. Couplets like "Tides don't judge you, they hug you, while you float to heaven
Where the hue, blushing blue, flushes through. Copacetic" + "Saturate the ember fires. In this masqueraded pose" also did a good job of capturing that feminine form in the picture by using the fancy language. Not really a cohesive thread through the writing, but it is held together by the use of such thematic language throughout. Pretty much a direct contrast with the first effort, where there was more of an emphasis on setting up a coherent thread, the three areas were clearly demarcated by the formatting and paragraph breaks. With first paragraph - the beginning set up. Second paragraph - character motivation and complication. Third paragraph - resolution/moral. The ending didn't stick, going back to the father character like that, after only merely introducing it in the start and parts of the second paragraph, it seemed like a Scooby-Doo ending, you know like a "The Ghost was actually Mr. Henderson all along!" kind of thing. The mermaid character was much more interesting than Poseidon, and after such a traumatic event just leaving her point of view without an analysis or insight into the impact that had just seemed like a bit of a misstep and missed opportunity. Good rhyming though, the rhyming was more refined than Zombie's, but still enjoyed Zombie's slants better as they fit with the fluidity of the image. Voting for Zombie.
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