[dead man]

IIIIII


I've been waiting here. anxiously. pacing the floors
boards creak beneath the weight of remorse
i was dying as a baby was born, stillborn. maybe it's fate
save or abort, shaken awake for an oasis to snort
make me yours. angel and whore. sometimes pain is escape
we waited til november just to skate in the lake
save your face, turn your cheek, let the hatred absorb
mayflowers, vase of porcelain, a slave to amor
degeneration, reform. i'm bare. naive as a boy
mandala your eternity. create to destroy
for every void there's a tape cassette to mirror the space
lick the rearview to taste it. our appearance is fake
scrape your plate. don't even hesitate. don't save me a crumb
i'll drown one day in cola and Canadian Club
cause it never leaves. i've never gotten wasted enough
no blanket or buzz could replicate the safety of love
i guess lying all the time gave me a lesson in trust
eat your heart out to watch as your appendages rust
feels like i've slept on every train. every bench, every bus
still you left me in the dust. my last possession was us
brilliant women thought i loved them. i intended to fuck
and crawl right back to you with indiscretion and drugs
it's sick. i'm a bug. you're insecticide, plunge
into your fantasies of theater and grunge. just let me go
an embryo of tissue and a pulsing pursuit
i've been waiting here for years for it to fully recoup
acid in the bandana, kush in the boot
paper piles to file away and bullets to shoot
woman in blue, you've stolen me and auctioned me off
and all i've got to show for it is toxic resolve
esophageal coughs. carcinogens, tar
brown eyes like fireflies behind a twinkling star
it's just who we are. watching paint dry is really an art
patience is a virtue for the cowards at heart
wandering through someone else's house in the dark
its getter harder and harder to tell the hours apart
wash it off. we're only castles made of sand, let it rise
they say each granule has a universe inside -
so how many of us die with every lap of the tides
so when it's time, hold your breath and wave goodbye..


______