[Bladed Thesis]

Originally Posted by dead man

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samurai soul. self sacrifice who sat in a grove
watched the valleys grow to cityscapes and vanish below
it could be simple. like a ripple in a glass of merlot
a flash of the bulb, grainy photograph, thumbtacked to a post

The soul of a warrior, who witnessed the growth of something and then its downfall. Much could be read into this. "it could be simple" but it's not.

Originally Posted by dead man

let me relax. pass me a bowl. inhale. catch me a cold
keep our conversations light. mindset blackness. the crow
flamethrow the industry. incinerate her majesty's throne

This feel very introspective and yet you throw in the "flamethrow the industry" and it changes the meaning of what came before. Does this mean you're talking about the industry previously, what you witnessed grow to cityscapes and then vanish? Hmm.

Originally Posted by dead man

embers ashy like your knuckles when you wrinkle your nose
have a toast. when we celebrate it's laughter and jokes
then it's reminiscing. buried issues. acid we dosed
alleyway and misdemeanors. phantoms and ghosts

Meeting with old friends has a pattern of celebrating the goods time before descending in to remembering things, people, and places from our past we, mistakes and issues.

Originally Posted by dead man

we've never crossed the cliffside. but we have to be close
take notes. abstract smoke until we've graveled our throats
live in squalor but we dream inside a palace of gold
i've decided to go. summarize the visit, tell me goodbye
fare thee well synthesized. doors that slam in the night
desert sand and pentagrams and mescaline highs
not another vice is so self-centered as pride

wishing to leave because for the pride?

Originally Posted by dead man

don't let me down, just let me die. every sentence is fine
tuned like blues musicians in a century's time
exhibitionistic emperor who's dressed to resign
the Peoples Temple accepted me then left me behind

Abandonment after being called the People's Champ? How quickly the masses turn on the ones they love.

Originally Posted by dead man

death in your eyes. becoming beautiful is only a slice
away from bathtub runways and celebrity life.
open you twice, steel wool stitch design recapture your light
before the black is permanent instead of alright.

"before the black is permanent instead of alright" rings as an afterthought. A casual side-thought.

Originally Posted by dead man

gnats and mice. pork and rice, pad thai dinner arrangements
kissed her grave just to think about how bitter it tasted
that sinking sensation, all too familiar, let it dissolve
alma seltzer. aspirin regiments and medicine balls

The pace of this piece is picking up here, moving from the abstract remembering to personal. The grave mentioned and a "her". Is she really dead or just gone from you? Is there a difference?

telephone calls collect like a fortunate lick
i've been victimized by imitation more than a bit
his lordship. mighty morpheme power laser equipped
horseback ranger with an arrow pointed straight at your neck

victimized by imitation or legitimized by it? In who's mind?

Originally Posted by dead man

leave me exempt. forget your hall of fame and respect
probably rated best. i haven't bothered to check

Probably but it doesn't make her grave any less real. What's worse? Doing it because it just helps you get the words out of your head or the fact that they think you do it for the Hall of Fame...

Originally Posted by dead man

molten lava. magma melodies that melted the wax
whether crystalized or fluid our intelligence stats
candles and chrysanthemum, that sensory snap
crackling like cherrywood. that's Frank with an axe
make me detach. watch it petrify and fade into blue
i'm only strange serendipity like you..

serendipity is such an ass...

DEADMAN

An interesting piece. Kind of all over the place and yet an over-arching focus. Fame, the industry, Hall of Fame. Words all created and re-defined to mean something they don't and given such emphasis.

I don't think anybody can tell you what you meant from a piece other than yourself. We can only tell you what your words mean to us and what we see in them.