View Single Post
Old 04-08-2014, 02:16 AM   #12
Certain
Mad fucking dangerous.
 
Certain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 12,066
Battle Record: 40-19


Champed
- AOWL Season 3
- Art of Writing League (2x)

Rep Power: 85899406
Certain has a reputation beyond reputeCertain has a reputation beyond reputeCertain has a reputation beyond reputeCertain has a reputation beyond reputeCertain has a reputation beyond reputeCertain has a reputation beyond reputeCertain has a reputation beyond reputeCertain has a reputation beyond reputeCertain has a reputation beyond reputeCertain has a reputation beyond reputeCertain has a reputation beyond repute
Default

timeless: This verse was deceptively creative. On the surface, it appeared to be another global warming verse. But you twisted it into a statement on us rather than on the Earth at the end, which I liked. And it was a very interesting take on the topic. I'm sure someone (having not read the votes) will say it didn't hit the topic enough, but I like this sort of tangential creativity. I do think you're nearing the point where it will be time to start pushing boundaries a bit more. The content itself was trod ground, and your writing style was straight-forward. Mix up rhyme schemes and work on more interesting phrasing to push yourself.

Adonis: You've been writing so intricately most of this season, so I thought this was a big step back. I liked the conceptual aspect of having God discussing why so many wars have been fought over him, but the execution really needed to be better. The bouncing around of speech patterns and lackluster flow showed you didn't seem to put as much time in this week as you needed to, perhaps because you underestimated your opponent as the favorite entering the battle.

Vote: timeless
__________________
I'm just swinging swords strictly based on keyboards, unbalanced like elephants and ants on seesaws.
Certain is offline