Timeless- this was a decent piece. Even though it was a little hard to follow in parts, I think the concept was kinda cool. I think alluding to stronger detail to differentiate the characters early on could have accounted for the fact that you didn't want the reader to know exactly who the characters were. The centering felt unnecessary as well, but I'm not a format nazi so I guess it was ok. The rhyming was ok and the overall gist of the piece was fairly clear at the end. Overall pretty good job.
Adonis- imo this piece felt all over the place. I think the writing structure/format you used was very confusing when coupled with the errors in grammer/spelling. That alone made me not want to continue reading. I did, however, and did not fully grasp what you were trying to accomplish here. I think you were mashing in so much stuff without developing any one aspect fully that it just came off as really rushed and unpolished. I would've loved to see the ideas you touched on done with more time and effort, to the ability I know you have. Overall, this was underwhelming.
Well, this is not at all how I pictured this battled going and I wish you two had pinpointed exactly how you wanted these verses mapped out before you started because I've seen better from both of you tbh. Thank you for showing though. MVGT Timeless for an overall better written verse.
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Ahem.
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