in the hospital , naked and weak unable to speak,
if life bubbles to the surface, than my ladle is deep,
this elder statesman is facing something fatal,complete,
cause its a one way trip on this fateful retreat,
death can be costly, and unfortunately the payment is grief,
only hope now is my faith in an ancient belief,
stood for something, but never took the occasional seat,
lived a long life but it was still painfully brief,
now while I lay on the operating table a beep,
indicates that I can finally become an angel and sleep,
but first the pages I keep, or kept are all read,
my life story is over, but im not what I would call dead,
at that instant, that very moment in time,
I see my whole existence flash right in front of my eyes,
looking back
to being told I only had a few weeks to live,
now that's not the kind of news I could easily give,
to my wife and kids, so that's the reason I hid,
the diagnosis from them for as long as I did,
I was worried, they wouldn't be able to handle the news,
and would tell me, dad don't go to heaven, refuse!
but I was ready to move, and choose the next phase,
wasn't afraid even as my soul was fading away,
colored by the numbers, but in the end the shading was grey
and im sad to say for me that day is today,
then my mind, travels to a time, when things were actually better,
like me and my grandson building sandcastles together,
he wrote P-O-P using shells in all capital letters,
now those are the moments that should be captured forever,
but trying to relive the past is a backwards endeavor,
cause deep down inside you know that isn't happening, ever,
never lacking pressure but feel like a weight has been lifted,
as I travel further back and survey my existence,
I remember the days that my own children were christened,
and keeping them safe was my primary mission,
used to just listen in the distance, when they played in their room,
a proud fathers like a gardener, watching them bloom,
but they out grow their home if something isn't stopping them soon,
so you wish you could place them inside a frozen cocoon,
as my journey resumes, on this time continuum, space crawl,
I envision me and my son practicing baseball,
taught him how to throw a curve at the age of fifteen,
and that contributed to him being the best pitcher on his team
we were so proud
speaking of we, i wish I could cuddle my wife,
give me one last moment with the love of my life,
on our first date, she wore something so tight,
that my heart was racing like I had been running all night,
she looked stunning in the light, provided by the moon,
and I became intoxicated by the scent of her perfume,
we fell in love, and on the day I was deployed,
I asked her to marry me, she said yes, and I was overjoyed,
as I got on the train to head towards the base,
I reached out of the window and I lifted her up by the waist,
and we embraced
but now that all seems erased, im in the void of space,
everything is black and I feel destroyed, misplaced,
but that's not the case, realize I just relived my life in reverse,
and then im overcome with understanding, and experience a rebirth,
instantaneously transported back to earth,
and float above my body that's in the back of a hearse,
my soul is let free, I spring wings and fly,
but not before I have the chance to wave goodbye
