mike - a zombie apocalypse is a pretty liberal take on the topic. your imagery was enough but it the wording was pretty basic in terms of unique wording and writing techniques such as metaphor, deceit, etc. (theres hundreds, pick any). the story flowed well but again it didnt jump out at me and make me say damn why didnt i think of that shit. flow was the same way. not bad. not outstanding.
adonis - this was nice. very emotional in your word choice making it personal and i could feel the innocence turn into darkness as the piece went on.very nice. the flow wasnt top notch but it had some great moments although there were some eh parts. overall a very good piece with the contrasting wording to the scenario becoming more sinister as the piece went on, ultimately closing with what i will call "the end of the beginning". a sinister technique that only leaves the mind to wander towards more deadly chapters as this seemingly irascible infant begins roaming the earth, shortly after the murder of his mother (i interpret it as a murder)
v - adonis
|