Okay anyways
Quote:
The lake is made of crystals.
It shimmers to the touch but mostly
goes undisturbed.
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Reminded me of Thoreau. Not just because you're talking about a lake either. Just the imagery itself.
Quote:
Too often
left to its own depths and the contents that consume it.
That it consumes.
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I forget the name of the specific trope employed here. Antithesis? Is that even a trope? Rhetorical device? Difference? I don't know, I'm still in school. Either way, this bit is my favorite and one of the more impactful moments of the piece. Verging on poignant. At this point, I'm thinking of the lake as a metaphor for the realm of our thoughts. Subconscious perhaps. Iunno.
Quote:
The lake stares back
some nights
with the moonlight and the chirps of crickets
and a thousand tears filling its oversized puddle.
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The line about the lake staring back is great. Fits in great with my interpretation of the piece. The imagery of moonlight and crickets was a bit dry.but achieved its goal of creating a solemn atmosphere that is good for self reflection. I wish.the last line here was more fleshed out though. its oversized puddle was confusing. I like what I THINK you were attempting to say though. An oversized puddle made of tears. In need of better wording.
Quote:
It's reaching out. It's flat. It's drowning,
and there's no one there to
throw that life preserver from the abandoned pier.
There's only the lake.
And me.
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solid ending.
I like seeing poetry in the om.
It makes me happay.