[Witty]

Mac - This was a huge leap in your elevation imo Most of these dudes probably haven't seen your pieces as much has I have, but this shows just how better you are getting all the time. The wording was the major problem here, probably because of the language barrier, some things seemed to be out of place, and the flow suffered because of it. You went off on a few tangents here and there but the ideas you had were pretty impressive, some deep shit...you have good thoughts, just need to focus on getting the most out of those thoughts, read other pieces and see how others do it, I think if you fixed your wording and focused more on making sure you say what you want to say, don't rush it...plan it out and make sure it ties in with the rest of the piece, no filler. The piece was good man, nothing to be ashamed of at all...but you can definitely do better, keep doing your thing bro.

Patrown - This was a cool little piece, you kept it tied into the topic really well...there wasn't really a story, more a piece full of pretty interesting thoughts and metaphors. The one thing I would say is to do more with your rhymes, throw some inners in there...it was just too simple for my liking, a lot of one syllable rhymes, which can be effective from time to time in a piece, but too often can make it seem a bit elementary. That's really the only qualm I have here....you wrote well, great vocab and you went outside the box as the topic was begging for, you wrote the sort of thing I would have been aiming to write to this, wish it was a little longer...but it was dope for what it was.

Vote - Patrown.