[Frank]

Timeless

First verse

Not too shabby... I wonder how much effort you put in, other than adding [c] [/c] to the beginning and last line in attempt to center the verse or however you do that. Nah, I know. It's that button that got the perfect jenga tower. The middle one. Not the left jenga that is wobbly because you missed a block or the right jenga thats leaning cause the balance is off. See, now we're thinking of your verse as a jenga set. It's construction is now the basis of my observation of this staggering verse. Now it is just staggering, not in a sense of overwhelming and earth shattering , just staggering, as in shaky without a good foundation to build off of.

I did like this line:

Hidden by cries that overflow lakes
Sober toned face, toe to toe, lone space.

Second verse

Well, it got better like the topic said. "Getting better" Some lines lead me to believe this was probably written in 2 sittings. It's a work in progress. It's not quite connected yet it still is. You built off the meager beginning and began spreading your writers wings.

"It is my fault I couldnt get it to work, I can't take this.
My patience is late with its welcoming burst that stands painless."
Yet still his amazement lies in the hopes of seeing it fly.
Folks believe in wise choices, he'd provoke their demons inside.
"I'll prove to them that I can do it, they won't see it coming.
Then i will be accepted, I won't have to flee from nothing.

I appreciated the positive message and felt uplifted when I was done reading the entire piece. I kinda am at odds of how I completely feel about this piece of work you have presented us with. It did get better but was that what you were going for? A build of skill and effort? It's kinda like that.

Mike Wrecka

The art of separation. The intro of dashes kinda diverted the attention back to you in a clean slate kinda way when I first read the verses back to back. The message here is great. Everything is getting worse under the umbrella of everything is getting better premise.. We're droned out slaves to our smart phones. It was a dope verse. Great character to it. The effort may have been a little lackluster but you got your point across. Fan of the verse. Will drop a quotable real fast

our baseline normal has been basically flattened,
into a comatose state by this embraced contraption,

I know how you talk right so I give you the benefit of the doubt. I always enjoyed your style. You got the time, late at night, when everybody's a sleep ,try and chip away a masterpiece for yourself, every week.

Great concept.

Overall voting process

I came in here and I was going to vote for Mike off the first impression I had in my initial read through. After a couple more reads just now I got Timeless with the win.