Cool battle, fellas.
Zygote - Yea this would be something to expect from you. I'm a topical head so i definitely like reading shit like this to get a grasp of different perspective and theory. It opened up with an uncanny resemblance to this film i saw a few weeks ago called "Connected". The film was about this idea that the next evolution will be based on a synthetic one (the irony isn't lost on me), how our interdependency of technology will effect our biological change somehow. So much of this is familiar territory to me. The idea of downloading memories and "life" to achieve immortality was explored in many mediums before...lol, it even surfaced in an episode of "Friends" lol. The flow was a little distracting as well, this time around. Usually i can overlook your unconventional rhythm because you always come up with very creative and thoughtful ideas; However, this piece wasn't one of them. Nonetheless, it's still cool that you're able to convey your ideas clearly. Everything was presented well and despite a lack of creativity this time around...the content was still pretty interesting. Good shit.
Frank - My vote is for you. But let's examine why, lol.
Cool touch using Poe's line as a chorus lol (though i'm not a fan of chorus in text writing lol, i can overlook it this time). But check this line out:
Quote:
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Rummaging through his summer gear like a hungry bear incase he had a honeys number up in there..
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lol! i almost voted against you due to that line! Anywho, i fed a piece earlier this week and mentioned components i looked for in a story. I should link this to that dude's verse 'cause this is what i'm talking about. I'm talking about details of little things...it makes a story jump to life and this verse was filled with it. In the opening stanza, I can smell, see, and hear the dude lol. I like the overarching metaphor...even down to his name ha. Lots of preparation for this i would imagine and it showed. rhyming was expert level despite that weird beginning. The strength of this verse was in the characterization of the subject. The story was about a dude catching std...lol, simple and nothing to special but u gave the character life as a result the plot fell in place with great progression. good shit man.
Vote -
Frank due to an overall better showing. word.