Mac - Work on being more concise with your form. You have great ideas, and I can see the images forming, but then you leave us hanging with some vague language without bringing it home. I liked the concept of black holes in society, sucking away at what's truly vital in life, making that more transparent from the start would have been helpful in tracking and getting involved with this verse.
also this bothered me:
a nightmare without ending, negative emotional responses from the minds
the only thing left is to let ourselves be carried away by the winds
I understand it is a visual rhyme, and that's cool, but I am not a fan of visual rhymes being used as end rhymes in RAP battling, the idea being that we should be able to at least somewhat be able to spit this verse.
Patrown - solid showing, flow was high caliber, images were vivid and creative, and you can sense a controlled yet vivid imagination driving the entire piece, which is focused on the topic in a more real way that Mac's verse.
also I liked this line:
all in the viscous cycle that physics help bring to life
but was not sure if you meant "Viscous" or "vicious" lol good verses yall.
Vote - Patrown
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