Netcees - View Single Post - Week 4 contender match: Just Write (3-0) vs. oats (3-0) \\ oats wins 7-1

e11even · 03-24-2014, 02:40 AM

Good Job Guys.

Oats- This came off initially as unassuming then spun into a nicely told piece about economic/social issues. Nice metaphors. My only complaint was that there wasn't more said about the neglected (poor) sibling. Great job with mechanics and overall story.

JW- I think if this was a movie it'd be a little overused, but as a piece, this was pretty cool. Your rhyming was overly basic, but I think your angle was what outshined that. Great Job.

I'm kinda torn about this one. Oats had an intelligent, well rhymed piece, and JW had a better story. MVGT Oats for more of what is looked for in a verse. Great job to you both.

03-24-2014, 02:40 AM	#11
e11even V.V Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: . Posts: 2,076 Battle Record: 31-20 Rep Power: 6247259	Good Job Guys. Oats- This came off initially as unassuming then spun into a nicely told piece about economic/social issues. Nice metaphors. My only complaint was that there wasn't more said about the neglected (poor) sibling. Great job with mechanics and overall story. JW- I think if this was a movie it'd be a little overused, but as a piece, this was pretty cool. Your rhyming was overly basic, but I think your angle was what outshined that. Great Job. I'm kinda torn about this one. Oats had an intelligent, well rhymed piece, and JW had a better story. MVGT Oats for more of what is looked for in a verse. Great job to you both. __________________ Ahem.