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Old 03-24-2014, 02:25 AM   #10
YDK
ghost in the matrix
 
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Covington, KY
Posts: 4,563
Battle Record: 14-25


Champed
- Art of Writing League (x2)
- Lime Green Poetry Association

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damn this was dope as fuck and a lot closer than I expected tbh.
Oats you had a hell of a story along with good metaphors imagery and story development. I do have to say that your flow and wording wasn't quite as crisp as I've become accustomed to reading from you over the years. That alone was the only drawback I saw from the verse because the rest was awesome and you ended it well. good shit.
Just write, you had a awesome story as well man, I've only seen the concept one other time but you had quite a bit of originality with it as well as a solid flow. I do gotta say though that some of the wording seemed off, I cant really put my finger on it but some lines just felt too simple to make the flow work. still a hell of a verse and an awesome way to word it with the nice play on the concept.
this was an extremely tough decision but I gotta vote for OATS strictly because the content went just a bit deeper into the story development.
dope fuckin battle fellas keep it up
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