Oats, I like your microcosmic take on the class struggle.. it really unraveled through the piece thanks to great writing... nice diction and rhyme choices. I was left unsatisfied by White's motivations to denigrate his sisters... as well as Blue's acquiescence to be the scapegoat at the end. There wasn't enough psychology behind those plot points to make the believable... but I guess if you follow the allegory, then you can basically fill in those blanks yourself.
Just, I really liked how your interpretation of the topic, probably the strongest correlation I've seen so far. Your storytelling begin rather slow.. the whole first stanza was a bit long for my taste... in the final stanza, the lines whipped a bit more as you built the suspense to the finale. It wasn't eyepopping stuff, but it was still solid.
This comes down to what I think was missing in either verse. For Oats, it was a little more of the interiority of the characters to build plausible motivation for their actions. With Just, I thought the same... I wanted to understand more about how this gift haunted and distressed him - you spend way more time on the intro portion when the verse would've been better suited to get into the action. This, and I think that Oats was far more sound with his construction, leaves me leaning in his direction.
Vote -- Oats
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Topical C.R.E.A.M.
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