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Old 03-17-2013, 04:41 AM   #9
Brass Body
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No good: I appreciate the storytelling. I'm a story teller myself. And the depth and vividness of your imagery was great. But -- yes, there's a but -- I felt the simplicity in your wording left the read a little bland from start to finish. Nothing to do with the diction, which also could've been better, but I felt like I was reading a Dr. Seuss story. It was good, but too simple for my taste. Overall not bad, but not incredible either. Keep it up man.

Witty, you've changed your style a lot since the last piece I've read from you. I really like it. Less me, more you're own. ;) The wording was really well put and clean. Almost felt like I was reading a modern Edgar Allan Poe. Diction was beautiful too. You weren't as vivid in your imagery as your opponent. But I felt your overall content was leaps and bounds better. Keep it up man.

Vote Witty. Felt his piece was just on a higher caliber of writing.
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