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Old 03-17-2014, 05:49 AM   #743
dyedinthewool
green eggs and damn
 
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: northeast
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Battle Record: 1-4



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The votes i couldn't post b4.

Quote:
I set in motion. Seductress' sings.
Her organs play a chilling symphony.
Precise Incisions. God-like physician.
Purge a soul removing sole ambition.
Pocket full of dreams. Mouth full of Genes
Valiant vagabond. Out with the spleen.
Sick sick sick

Truly, i hadn’t read anything you’ve ever written, and I think this is sick as shit. Crazy detail and awesome wordplay. i only have one negative thing to say, and trust that the positives outweigh the bad, however I feel that while you had a clear cut point that you saw through describing and using your topic, I feel you were incredibly straight forward. Is it wrong that see poetic elements in your piece but I miss the idea of a longer bar?

Vulgar- I have not read anything from you before but one piece, and this being the second. With that being said, this piece does not compare. Your mechanics, like Adonis are good in this piece. You covered your topic but I feel it was not as best to your ability. You dabbled in weed both in recreation and politically which was nice but with your potential I certainly expected more

Quote:
I smelled brimstone, dragon vagina and weed... the last one putridly laced
Called him the hugest disgrace, his eyes resembled Jupiter's base
Bloodshot, with vessels red...
He loved pot, because it sent him to a truly beautiful place
Puff barked at me, "Arguing against marijuana is a futile debate!"
Now don't get it twisted...
I'm all about fields of tobacco, Cuban cigars and rosary groves
but weed makes you stupid - turning young kids into disorderly dopes
I totally loved that. Awesomely put!

Mvgt Adonis this week.

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frank/ink


This battle is weird, but enough to see who deserves my vote this week.


Frank- crazy mechanics, your flow is awesome in this piece however, using as many topics as you did, I don’t think worked in your favor (from my perspective). This entire piece is full of great bars that for me you can write 4-5 different topicals on. It feels totally disjointed for me.

Ink your piece has a storyline that follows through with your topic and while your mechanics are not as sharp as that of franks, your diction does you justice. this felt like an in the moment kind of piece and it was suspenseful!

Mvgt INK
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