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Old 03-16-2014, 11:14 PM   #10
Vulgar
Razor-thin derision
 
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,422
Battle Record: 40-25

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Frank - So weed is the scapegoat for all of these occurrences. My verse this week was terrible. Yours was lightly sprinkled with humor but I think you actually took the writing process seriously, at least until the third topic popped up. You bit off more than you can chew and it wasn't cohesive. The best parts were when you worded a line really well, but even the sum of those couldn't save it in my eyes.

Ink - This was slightly boring, couldn't get into it because it read like the bare skeleton of a disaster/apocalyptic short story. The bare essentials, comprised of basic prototypes. I felt like you didn't hit the accelerator at any time. It wasn't bad as a whole, just not liberating or full of passion that I know is in you as a writer.

Going with Frank here.
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