Quote:
Originally Posted by H4ZE
Hah. Y'all are way to technical about this shit. I mean, I respect y'all but damn. All of the other websites I've posted on people said this was a nice piece. Especially on the emotional aspect of it and yeah I couldve made the rhyme schemes more complex but I and other people have said the simple rhyme scheme was nice for this piece. Also I did have multis.Y'all act like if the multis arent all 8 syllables long then the whole piece is shit. Not every piece has to have a super complex rhyme scheme and big ass words. I will take all of your feed into consideration the next time I write a piece where I actually take my time with it tho because like I said before, this was a quick piece I wrote to get some shit off my chest. I wasn't trying to do anything special with it. But I think this piece is a lot better then y'all are saying it is.
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Pancake is just a Dick. If you stay here for any length of time you'll learn that.
Pancake's feed was spot on but he didn't have to convey what he conveyed
quite in that manner. Genocide was worse off then pancake in this
particular occasion. He gave a pretty lack luster bit of feed. Its pretty disrespectful
to be so lazy as to not even take the time to even type up his own words.
Genocide is one of the writers that let text success give him a big head.
Dude used to be real humble and pretty descriptive when he fed ppl.
A word of advice there h4ze if you ever gain that sort of stature don't let it change you.
Stay humble and just work on improving because too many katz
lose sight of that as they gain some acclaim. Keep doing you bro.
Here's a friendly challenge:
Write a topical with some multi syllable density and a couple metaphors
thrown in...let's see how you do.
Oh and to clearify
You do NOT need 8 syllable multi's to be dope man.
However you DO need multi's to be dope Imo(amongst
other things like metaphors, similies etc etc).
Also where you place you're multi's are important too.
If you place a multi on you're end rhymes and transition
into the next line with a multi it will spice up the verse quite
a bit tbh.
One step at a time though.
There are a lot of tricks of the trade to learn
and I don't know em all.
Stay up