Quote:
Originally Posted by Ink
He always wears jeans and long sleeves
the days after grades come out.
Even when the sun's so angry
the asphalt molds to your feet.
And only few will venture ask.
He'll say he doesn't feel
so baked, though that shade of flesh ain't normal.
At least his parents care.
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Pretty cool. I like to see poetry like this around.
Some word choices seem bland though. Like "angry"
and the change from third to second person in the following line was weak. some of the concepts here were appreciated. Like the first line, and also the line about the shade of flesh not feeling normal (aint was weak word choice)
keep dropping