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Old 03-15-2014, 12:56 PM   #2
Zen
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,102
Battle Record: 22-24


Champed
- Art of Writing League

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There wasn't a glimmer of couth, hierarchies spread their miserable roots
The Indus riddled with brutes - predicaments proved monotheistic religion was moot
^Nice crisp rhyming. I was going to quote this and the subliminal message couplet but my phone won't copy it for some reason. Those two sections stood out though when it came to strong rhyming.

Pretty creative writing showcased here especially with what was added in the parenthesis. As for the story, idk if its true or not but that seems very possible. This is a little underwhelming imo when compared to your other works. That doesn't mean it wasn't good though, just not as goods some of your others. Still this is more impressive than what the majority of the om. Stay up.
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