Quote:
Originally Posted by H4ZE
Hah. Y'all are way to technical about this shit. I mean, I respect y'all but damn. All of the other websites I've posted on people said this was a nice piece. Especially on the emotional aspect of it and yeah I couldve made the rhyme schemes more complex but I and other people have said the simple rhyme scheme was nice for this piece. Also I did have multis.Y'all act like if the multis arent all 8 syllables long then the whole piece is shit. Not every piece has to have a super complex rhyme scheme and big ass words. I will take all of your feed into consideration the next time I write a piece where I actually take my time with it tho because like I said before, this was a quick piece I wrote to get some shit off my chest. I wasn't trying to do anything special with it. But I think this piece is a lot better then y'all are saying it is.
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To be honest bro people arn't trying to put you down, this is a better site to elevate your skills than other sites with lesser writers. Of course some people are dicks about it but most are helpful if you ask. If you don't want to expand your abilities thats cool, just post whatever but if you want to actually get better heed the advise you're given and learn from it. This was ok with potential, your word choices a juvenile, meaning they're beginner type. Single syllable end rhymes ect. Its not that your piece is bad its just boring because you have no flare about it. And while the emotion is obviously there, different word choices could make that emotion ooze into the readers brain. Im talking given the reader goosebump type shit. Anyways man just trying to help. Peace