Quote:
It's like just because of my fathers actions, no one can trust me
When I meet new people, I don't speak of him till I know that they love me
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That line was the most impactful
It seems that you have a good enough grasp over the mechanics, but the content was a bit trite at times. Like pancake said though, if this is a deeply personal then you may disregard these critiques (although he threw in the 'not really bit' cuz hes a dick) however it wouldn't hurt to be a little more infinitive and less to the point. keep dropping