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Old 03-10-2014, 02:47 AM   #13
dyedinthewool
green eggs and damn
 
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Join Date: Feb 2014
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Just write- smooth throughout enough to capture the awesome moments that your piece has. Truthfully the end of your piece had me tearing. I never knew what it was like to feel that way as a child, maybe a bit more when I became older if anything, but to capture that emotion as a ten yr old, I think you did a great job. As I began reading I thought of a few different ways your piece would end and sure enough I was wrong, so that was awesome. I think you captured your topic very well.



Silver dollar- I straight up read this with such enthusiasm and animation, because to me this can be spoken word and your use of words in this piece is crazy. Well written, but I feel like this was more of a statement piece rather than a storyline. While there is nothing wrong with that, your opponents decision to take his topic the route that he did, has worked in his favor

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