[Witty]

Fucckkkkking phone deleted my shit.

My original was pretty short, this is gonna be a little shorter, sorry guys.


Timeless - I liked this, it flowed very well for the most part and there were a few lines that ahowed your poetic ability as well as an interesting thought process, I like when people think in ways which I don't, there were also a few lines I didn't really understand, which is a danger with a puece lile this, you didn't alienate the reader, but a few parts kept him at arms length.

Tyson - as a story this was cool, i was drawn in but the story was too often interrupted by awkward wording, it doesn't change the value of the content but it does take away from the overall enjoyment of the read, for me personally, nothing is better than reading a perfect flow, it gives me butterflies, maybe I'm weird. But yeah, this was a piece that showed you clearly have ability to tell a well worked story, but it was lacking mechanically.

Vote timeless.