[Adonis]

Pat - So the first third of this verse packed so much knowledge into each individual, I loved that portion most. It had decent flow, but with the amount of meaning in each line the flow was secondary to actually understanding what you were doing, because it was complex, yet executed superbly. The middle portion was decent, it was merely you setting up for the ending I feel. The two characters, there lives in a nut shell. The bottom portion again was back on track and dope. Again, flow in this was decent at best, it had it's moments for sure, but also had lines where the flow was not that great, but the meaning in those lines off set that fact. In a nut shell, flow and rhyme were secondary to getting the point across which I commend and appreciate, good shit. All in all, to me the verse was about Earth in general, and the hell we've made it. Good use of metaphors, solid verse. Keep up the incline to superiority pimp.


CK - So to be continued pieces are largely not effective because each part or verse truly must stand alone against a completed work of body. I think you did decent here, but not great. The ending of this verse had that "ending feel", but not quite there. The verse as a whole was also a bit confusing. There was a lot inside the lines. Miracle births, scientific experiments of offspring, polygamy. The entire time I read this, and each time I read this, I kept thinking it was about Earth and the Father of the dead child was a god of some sorts. But the ending ruined that for me as he is a king, not a god who created this earth. IDK bro, not one of your better works conceptually I'd say, but the writing from the individual concepts to flow was nice.


V/ PAt