vividlyvague - why? .. ok. i liked a lot of your rhymes. you really carried the rhyme well here.
"Miguel Gomez...99.9... results positive. Results positive? So!"
"Baby... read the heading..." I motioned at the hospital's note.
"Ay Dios Mio..." The pregnancy fostered all of his hopes...
Ones of a daughter and son of prosperous growth.
Now, with his daughter lost, his job on the ropes,
was very strong at fostered all of his hopes/son of prosperous growth. i just liked how that rhyme in particular sounded in that set.read smoothly, sounded catchy. but your twist, if you will.. was a bit disturbing. the last line felt a liiittle off tone with the rest of the piece. as if shit got real serious BOOM twist drop WHAT?.. i mean, it worked.. but.. what did you just trick me into enjoying? idk.
mike wrecka - carried his rhymes very well here. as if to spite his opponent and secure a victory, which i feel he did. strong piece though. i respect the approach. definitely needed to be done. there were times when i feel like bouncing around on syllable counts could have helped.. on a second read through, you threw a lot of stuff in there to make the twist more unique. it worked both ways very well, and that's hard to do without feeling off. pulled it off well.
/v mike wrecka - more solid piece. matched his opponent with rhyme volume. there were some catchier phrases in vivids piece but.. it felt off at times when mike kept it together.
|