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Old 03-08-2014, 02:37 AM   #4
Just Write
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ziggy,
you're an animal bro. you must have just a computer filled with pre-writtens on every fucking subject imaginable and just sit there saying "hmmm, ok this one will work"that or you're a robot like everyone says. this was a stellar little mini story of what if's. i really enjoyed it. i do however feel it was pretty short despite the long bars. i would have liked to see you expand on it more against someone like oats. you're a really talented dude. i want to see what you can do when you spend more than a few hours on a piece.



oats,

into bottom-heavy hourglasses, a growing pendulum stencil -
make sure it’s a water birth so baby’s entrance isn’t stressful.
nothing meant as disrespectful, it’s all mental/menstrual but it’s central
giving birth gives a purpose: the ultimate existentialist credential.

say that five times fast haha jk. really exceptional section right here


off into the world, use your mind and your heart
explore man's noblest pursuits, science and art
horizons will part, the world is yours if you take it
So long as you follow new ideas instead of different faces
Emotions strip you naked, happiness is a fleeting endeavor
But accomplishment lasts forever!
or at least for as long as your descendants can remember

golden line right there. i really loved that

I really enjoyed this piece man, the cadence was just beautiful. i do think you've put out better flowing pieces but still, this was a work of art. I don't know what it is, if it's because you're a teacher or whatever but you have a very refined poetic style. you've definitely honed in on it to a t and it showed in every piece of yours. definitely my favorite verse ive read this week. props

man this was a great battle and definitely botw material. it' rare i vote against ziggy and his brilliance but I think he might have underestimated oats and oats took advantage.again, both great pieces but oats edges this one out for me
mvgt=oats

















...great, now im not gunna make it in the OM review
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