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Old 03-08-2014, 02:12 AM   #5
Just Write
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fresh, not gunna lie bro, you do have potential. i just think you try to hard sometimes. i feel like it's better to get you point across than try to cram so many inners into your piece almost to the point where it's hard to follow, first section being an example. however i really enjoyed your second section.


Looking forward isn't the future that I see
I do what I must to suture parting sea's

for some reason i love that second line


i thought it was written well minus a couple things that i believe have to do with your annunciation. overall not bad although i do agree with cake man that your piece against diode was better.

pinot,
nice seeing a piece from you brotha. this was really written superbly. the flow was exceptional but never lacked in content. it was a little predictable in a way (basic love story type setting where everything is all gravy but eventually crumble because he's insecure in himself) I do think you pulled it off well though and it favors you that this is very relatable to a lot of people. ive seen you put out masterpieces and expect more next week.. unless you battle me lol jk


good battle guys

mvgt=pinot
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