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Old 03-08-2014, 01:46 AM   #2
Just Write
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Every step we take throws gravity off balance.
Sanity’s lost talent, like calamity taught phalanx.

This line was crucial.

imeless,
a very poetic feel dude. I really enjoyed this piece. Are you an alias or? Because i don't recall your name but the writing seems vaguely familiar. Anyways i enjoyed the story you told, pretty abstract but technically it was sound and the fliw was perfect. My only thing is I don't know if it was maybe too abstract. I felt lost in some parts and had trouble connecting your piece to the topic despite reading it a few times. Besides you just talking about the rain of death i couldn't relate it to the topic very well. Still a great piece


Tyson, you impressed me with this one. I havent read anything from you in a while but this was good. There were a few stretched lines making it seem choppy in a few areas but your storytelling made up for it. I just don't for the love of me know why you would write about rape with a topic like this. Wierd, cool story though.

I didnt relate either piece to the topic as well as i would have liked to but im going to have to go with timeless because i think he had a little more polished piece of work. Enjoyed the reads guys

Mvgt=timeless
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