[e11even]

Originally Posted by Objective

Love the vocabulary, enjoyed how you put it together. ''Head games'', huh? Definitely mind games tbh, it's thought provoking for sure and I'm kinda left with questions that doesn't add up and I wonder what you were truly going at.

The picture itself is dope as fuck. The first thing that came to my mind when I saw the picture was how thoughts and ideas kinda give birth to a new you and as you keep building on that new ideas come forth before you've even managed to really take it in completely, and sometimes it can feel like an endless loop of ''new you's''. Perhaps this was what you were going at with a third perspective-approach to the character in your story? Idk...

Either way, cool shit. Didn't like this section tho';

Hardly wit, you're breathing so hard, well jeez it's hard to miss it
Harnessed info, got the world, burned it raw and let it bleed
His Earth evolved from desert people, cursed with flaws of destiny
I watched him as his thoughts unfirl, swirled hunches, cleverly
^ Although put together well, I didn't like the rhymescheme, couldn't clearly get the words at the end to connect that well tbh. Cleverly and Destiny kinda works, kinda thinking more about the first couplet in that quote. And there's slight hints of the same issue with some lines towards the end. Might be missing out, or not seeing its connections, but that's what my thoughts are at this moment. Might come back and re-read it, perhaps I'll see it then.

Keep dropping. Peace.

Mostly this ^

It felt like as soon as I got tied up in one thought you veered left. It reminds me of my rush hour driving. It was refreshing and frustrating at the same time that the piece doesn't allow the reader to get comfortable. A few slips in end rhyme, but the content was volumes above average. Props. Drop more and I'll feed if available.