[Witty]

Yo..this was a really well thought out and detailed piece. You had all of your information right on the Vietnam War which I guess as you are a solider isn't too surprising lol It was good to see this kind of piece come from somebody who knows what they are talking about, and has actually lived the life. You have a very good story telling voice which is something I focus on in most of my pieces so I can appreciate it a lot. The story itself was interesting, it wasn't particularly unique or mind blowing, but you keep it consistent the whole way through and finished with a solid ending. There aren't too many people on here who seem to be natural story tellers but you look like one of them, I was definitely feeling this piece. Your rhymes were good, I would like to have seen more multi's to give the piece a crazy flow to make it have that little bit more flavour to it, it was like reading a poem which is cool, but I would have personally preferred it to have had more of a vibe to it, spice things up a little. That's honestly the only advice I can offer here, you knew where you were going from that start, and you got there very impressively. Everything was consistent, and the story was interesting and made for a pretty dope read, the dialogue really added a lot to it. Props man, I enjoyed this piece...I look forward to doing battle with you lol

Keep writing bro.