[Split]

I don't like Kings because no one can remember the goddamn rules and fakes drinking for waterfall. There's no skill, no sense of competition, no absurdity. just pull fucking cards out, drench them in alcohol, bend all the corners as you fling them to the four corners of the dorm. Nobody wins in Kings. Everyone just puts on their best ecstatic face and lies about all the shit they have, in fact, never done, as their Saturday night pisses itself away in one big fat 4Loko Kidney stone of disappointment.

You know what drinking game I'd rather play any day of the week? Steal a taxi and drink myself into a bridge abutment at triple digit speeds.