Sacrifice
'This land: stories reported of glory and death and of darkness.
Sheathing their blades made to slay demons with a Veteran's sharpness'
'Still families lined up for the latest editions.
The Fall had faded so hastily,
in stasis with basic tradition by way of ancient religion'
Your style of writing here was top notch, packed with so many quotable lines
but I found myself lost at times & it often felt like I was reading random
statements all packed together, im not sure if its my lack of sleep or im
a little rushed for time but for me the entertainment value wasnt all that high.
Frank
'they just wish she wasn't belligerent when I was up because it's become somewhat of a hindrance...
The rally cap in her hand is a windmill in a tornado - pushing the runner to second, like a third base coach - conducting and spinning.'
The young gunner was clocked at speeds that numbed such hitters
CLUNK
The ball hit the bat, foul tipping into the rows scented in a buttered tradition
Ive never been to or even watched a baseball game in my life, but your verse was wrote
with such realism, I acually felt like I was there & it made for a very enjoyable read.
Quality use of descriptive writing, loved it.
Vote - Frank
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