Zyg... best verse I've read this week. You did get slightly repetitive around the middle, not in the sense that the rhyming fell off, but I felt like the story kind of stagnated and went over the same point without moving forward. The end could have had some more complexity, but overall this verse was great. Easy to relate, easy to read and a great concept.
Ex... kind of simplistic, in concept and execution. This story line has just been used so many times, and then the religious aspect just came off as hokey and cliché.
Vote = Zyg
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