This sure is pretty random, there is alot of multi-syllable rhyming here and it is interesting to see how you made certain things work. Unfortunately the fact that non of it really made sense just sounded like the babblings of a pyschopath instead of anything else really, it does have a cool flow, there is some stuff I would work on though and that is making it make sense, anybody can just rhyme random words.
"Third for free, versions neat as virgin meat, squeak your sermon, preacher
eat your worth "
I thought that this was going to go somewhere and it kind of just fell flat, keep practicing and try to incorporate the rhyme scheme into a story or something next time.
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