just write
branching out with your material. i commend you for trying on hats you may not entirely be comfortable rocking. this tale is a deviation from your usual suspect approach. imo, your the huckleberry fyn of netcees. this is your lane, minus the ghetto trivial subject matter. your a gradual, simple story teller who does not put much emphasis on mechanics (though you have shown you can hang in that department.) This tale was typical in a traditional sense. I've lived that type of lifestyle (somewhat) forreal, so this was kind of tame. here you have a skeleton of a story, but it's lacking the arms, legs, etc to make it come alive. a manican, void of the attributes necessary to make it move. as I dwell on the rhyme, as I write this, I am left with that impression. a body of work, a rough draft, or outline, though 'complete' - missing some factors. where this works is in it's structure. i felt like i have read a lot of lines and have come away with the feeling that you just wrote without much regard for me as the reader. you are skilled, so display it, especially if you're capable. if you are strapped for time just no-show. don't waste our time. in other words, you now have a foundation you can build upon. solid showing.
objective
wtf was this shit? lol you wrote in your native albanian language? you water colored? lol. did you use pastel colors to highlight the fact you were completely lost this week? i know first hand that you are capable of epic trilogy-like sagas. you have grand spectrum ideas, you may need to dedicate yourself and apply yourself a little more to your craft. you either go full throttle or you fumble. you should definitely put time aside for next week and really hammer a way your chisel for a showing worth critiquing. i truly believe this will be your best season yet, only if, you write like how you did in the winter tournament, you will be a threat.
as it stands, I got Just Write cruising to a easy victory here.
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