[Objective]

Sacrifice: The rhymescheme in the first four lines was cool, but somehow lacking. I'd enjoy it more if ''mist too'' somehow had a connection to something else similar to the execution of withstand -quicksand. Beside of that the start of your piece was enjoyable.

As I come to this section:
''Still it amazes, and strengthens resolve.
Some brazen, embracing the chilling result:
Why resort to killing them all? Only to leave us for life.
I tried to convey with frequency, like they couldn't see the deceit,''

I'm left with quite a few questions. What is the war all about? I feel like I get what you're saying, but not why you say it. What's the story behind this ''Post Modern Collapse''? I'll let doubt get the best of me and I'll continue reading, hopefully I'll get some answers to this as I read on.

''Hosting Modernity on a Post for emergencies; we've all embarked
on this Odyssean journey for freedom as we fall apart.''
^ Allright. So, this is the conclusion for the war that's taking place? But I still don't fully get what started it all beside of innovation and power being the main drive to start the inevitable chaos of human natures wish to rule and be alpha or have a leader to follow. Even then, I still feel the story is kind of missing a more powerful reasoning to why things are like they are. It's as if a war-movie just jumped straight into the battles and conflicts without really telling you why they take place.

Overall: Thought it was cool, but it lacks some serious main points to truly wrap it all together in a neat package.

Frank: Dope intro. Even with my serious lack of knowledge I still get that it's baseball you're talking about, haha. Cool shit and I like your approach. Looking forward to read through this.

I got really dragged into your story and I felt you delivered everything pretty well except for the 9 lines that all started with ''the'', kinda repetitive start to a series of lines after one another, nothing too serious but I noticed it. The way you conveyed the situation made even me understand what was going on in a game I know little about, thought you did it well in other words.

As it comes to an end things seem to fall apart, but I guess it was saved in the end by the home run. Enjoyable read, well done.

Vote - Frank. I felt he had a more complete piece overall. Still enjoyed both verses, but I thought that Frank came through more complete when it comes down to it.