Quote:
“Demonic urges storm the skies with a heavenly essence
Death is a sentence to those without a destiny present.
Put yourself first but never put your enemy second,
because every second beckons when an entity threatens.
Lesson learned; now let the pressing questions adjourn,
a confession of depression isn't easily earned.”
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Ydk, loved the opening. The flow was pretty impeccable throughout the read. The ending could also be a great quotable as well, the last 2 bars more specifically. Was dope taking the “I’ll live forever” approach, could be basic to some, but you had a different way of showing it. Good read man.
Quote:
” Tugging their luggage, one suitcase and a carry-on dream
Showing the wear of forefathers that provided his seed”
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Ink, I enjoyed your verse as well. Good route with the topic with the depiction of a foreign couple coming to America to slave away in the workforce. Two things though that bothered me though, was how you chose to end the story, and your flow was off on a few parts.
Both came pretty dope with their approach to such a bland topic. Gotta go with YDK though for most enjoyable, and a smoother read.
v.YDK