This is no dystopian fiction on stage,
this is merely the state of things in decay.
They'd innovate for the sake of vacuous innovation,
plugged into systems for passionless entertainment.
Deep, i also like the lines a couple rows later about losing balance(slacking off) unless were proud of our greys (accomplished something worthy of retirement) this is the first time ive read anything of yiurs but ive heard good things in the forum as of late. I was definitely impressed, though i didnt like some of the schemes but who the fuck cares what i like right? So basically what i got out of this is things fall apart (society, government ect. Which i agree with) but it's up to us to put em back together, post apocolyse type setting. I liked this part the most
Don't you see the irony here?
Manipulating space for a quick arrangement.
A light-wave vessel for credits to buy you your beer.
This is no dystopian fiction on stage,
this is merely the state of things in decay.
They'd innovate for the sake of vacuous innovation,
plugged into systems for passionless entertainment.
It's up to us on the path paved by Eliot's Wasteland.
With nothing to guide our footsteps save intelligence,
yet "they" stand on the side of cantankerous pride.
Such rancor! Such is hell for a sane man.
We should challenge this valiant Hate.
Damned if we lose balance unless we're proud of our grays...
Nice piece bro.
Franky! I wrote about you this week bud.
I really enjoyed this piece, as a kid i had season tickets to the mariners with my grandma for year! I learned to play poker when i was 9 tailgating with her and her drinking buddies lol. My only qualm (and i know you like to do this) is it gets very boring and repetitive when you use the same end rhyme the whhhooole piece. That just immo though. I immediately felt like i was sitting in the stands when i read your piece and thats what i like. Connecting with a piece so much i feel apart of it.
After reading fice's verse i thought he had it. they are both great writers but im going to have to go with who i just enioyed more as a reader and that's frank
Vote=frank
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