Good battles so far, ive enjoyed almost every verse ive read this week
Ydk, you took a more direct route on the topic, i feel you were trying to almost sound too deep. I had to read your verse a couple to fully grasp what you're saying, i hate doing that. Don't get me wrong, it was a great verse and packed a big punch in so few lines but i don't like having to work as a reader through a verse. I mean why couldn't you just say wine lol, made me go look in a dictionary and shit haha. I also didnt like the last line, stalling at best was just aweful. Besides just a few minor things you had something here, just not your best.
Ink, now when i read your topic i immediately thought of shoes too lol. I really liked this story about an immigrant family dreaming of coming to america and having this glorious life only to realize that they have to work twice as hard just to get by and STILL live paycheck to paycheck. This is some real life shit, i fucking hate the way shit works sometimes. Anyways really good verse man, welcome back.
Mvgt=ink
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