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Old 02-24-2014, 08:35 AM   #6
Illume
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Just Write View Post
Didn't, you didn't use period's or comma's. I tell you what. I'll help you with this, everytime I see you post and make a grammatical error i will post reply and correct them. We'll get through this together buddy. I love helping people
Hahaa!!

Naw but the post had some great little lines. There was a bit of the flow near the end that had this 'depress' 'regress' 'finesse' sorta rhyme scheme, every few words. I was waiting for the OP to really open this up. This was one of those rhymes, though technically good, that I wish I'd come up with the scheme for. It's runnin' around in my head now. Could have been fleshed out for a full length rhyme IMO.

I liked it, for the most part, though, but too short.
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